ways for success

Whatever it is you hope to achieve—a raise, a trim body, a new or better relationship, more clients, improved health, etc.—you might think fear of failure is what’s making it unattainable.
Surprisingly, the actual culprit may be fear of success. Fear of success is evident in those nagging, negative background thoughts quietly yet persistently sabotaging your efforts to move ahead. These notions force you to play small, effectively keeping the big wins out of reach.
To beat those sneaky success thieves, you’ll need to look closely—and gently—at where they hide. These exercises will help you root out your fears, give you a panoramic view of the journey that you’re on, and show you how to plan for staying on course for success.
1. Be honest.
Grab a pen and paper. It’s time to identify what you really, truly want to accomplish.

• List each facet of your life—friendships, career, health, family, sports—any area you care about. Leave plenty of writing space around each item for more notes later on.
• Next, rank each aspect of your life according to how important it is to you.
• Under each element, list your goals. And it’s quite okay to dream really big!

Seeing all these competing ideas in front of you should help you focus on the entire picture. Unless you identify that ultimate goal, you might be avoiding or dismissing some key worries, confusion, and self-destructive thoughts or actions. Believe me, we all have them, so be daring in taking a comprehensive look.
2. Be brave.
Under the goals that you listed above, write down what you imagine would be the boldest, best-case scenario for each. Be specific. Here are some examples:

• to meet a soulmate who is…
• to feel and look better so I can…
• to get promoted to…
• to lose weight so…

Keeping a spotlight on those ultimate goals helps smooth the way over speed bumps like fear, worry, and uncertainty. By mapping this out on paper, you make a commitment to those goals. You also identify which crucial areas have inadvertently fallen to the bottom of the list. (Is shopping for that perfect handbag really going to bring you closer to success than spending the same time and money on some much-needed self-care?)
3. Be real, but be kind.
Look back at how you reacted in the past when you were unsuccessful with your goals. What self-talk did you use when you looked in the mirror, stepped on the scale, or reviewed your bank balance? Were they helpful observations, or did you find yourself using harsh words—even insults—you wouldn’t think of directing at a friend?
If self-recrimination has been your default mindset, it’s time for a change. After all, what you think about yourself and your progress can determine your results.
Check that negativity at the door. Instead, be objective about your progress by analyzing why your plans went wrong. Ask meaningful questions. Could it be that you didn’t really want to reach that particular goal? You felt overwhelmed? You didn’t feel you deserved success? You weren’t sure what steps to take?
Now, look again at what you’ve written down. Under the goals you jotted in your notebook, write out what you think of the actions you’ve taken so far. Remember, this is not a self-bashing exercise, so please refrain from going there. Instead, dive a little deeper into why—and arm yourself ahead of time to meet those known challenges head-on.